THESE ARE NOT YOUR FATHERS EAGLES!

These Eagles Can Fight! These Eagles Will Rumble You Tooth & Nail  Whoop Your Ass &  Laugh About It!

These Eagles Are “Bout Dat Life Son”, Unlike Eagles Teams Of The Past This Bunch Right Here Can Win Close Ugly Games!

They’re Young & Cocky But Humble Enough To Know Not To Be Too Young &  Cocky, They Have Great Standard Football Skills Along With Trick Plays. (Philly Philly)

They’re Musically Diverse, As In Even Though Their Head Coach Looks Like Oldskool Singer Michael McDonald, As A Team They All Heavily Listen To Meek Mills “Dreams & Nightmares”.

They Have Swagger,  Attitude, The Juice, The Power And A Huge Superbowl Ring To Back Up That Swagger & Attitude.

Their Confidence Is So Strong It Makes The Wind Blow & The Earth Revolve!  Remember The Superbowl?  (Of Course You Do) Well Most Teams Would’ve Been A Bit Star Struck  By Tom Brady & The Patriots, But Not These Eagles!

These Eagles Werent The Least Bit Afraid Or Intimidated. As A Matter Of Fact They Actually Came Out & Did The D*mn Thing To The Patriots!

As A 2nd Matter Of Fact If You Look At The Last Four Games That Led Them To The Superbowl It Should Be Clear That The Phila. Eagles Weren’t Just Beating Their Opposing Teams, But They Were Actually Beating Their Opposing Teams The F**k Up!

Yes! I Said It! And The Footage Along With That Impressive Superbowl Victory Backs That Statement Up As A Fact.

This Website Has Predicted The Last 3 Superbowl Winners & Even The Final Score (Within 3 Pts.)

How? I Can Feel Energy, ( And I Know The Vegas Oddsmakers) But Nevermind That! Predictions Are A Finklestein Staple! People Come To This Website For A Good Laugh But They Also Know….That We Know Sports.

We Know A Winner & These Eagles Right Here Are Winners! The Networks Love Them, The Vegas Oddsmakers Loves Them, And The City Of Philadelphia Is On An Everlasting High!

They Finally Have A Bonafied, Certified Winner! In The Past The Eagles Have Had Good Teams But Sadly They Were Always On That Bullsh*t!

For Example:

Former Head Coach Andy Ried With Those Yawn Worthy, Lame Ass, I’m Gonna Stick 9 Inch Needles Through My Eyelids, F**ked Up Coughing Ass Post Game “We Have To Get Better”  Interviews That Produced A Mediocre Were Just Happy To Beat Dallas & Make The Playoffs Mentality!

By The Way, After Droppin “Kamikazee” I Hope Eminem Doesnt Diss Me For That Whole 9 Inch Needles Through The Eyelids Thingy.

For Example Again:

Every Player On The Team Began To Talk In Politically Correct Circles Like Andy Ried & It Seemed Like The Entire City Of Philadelphia Had Tucked Their Balls Between Their Legs & Accepted Mediocrity.

By The Way,  Im Tempted To Say With The Exception Of Caitlyn Jenner Women Dont Have Balls, But Uh……One Trip To Kensington Or North Philly Pretty Much Proves That Theory Wrong.

But That’s The Past, Now Philadelphia Has Bonafied Killers On Their Sidelines. Straight Gully Buls!  ( Boys ) Remember Jason Kelce Barking Out WWE/Commando Like Parables Dressed Like A Genie At The Superbowl Parade?  Scared You Didnt It?

How Bout Q.B Nick Foles & Head Coach Doug Pederson Straight Look Like They Will Rumble You Til Ya Drawers Turn Black! Wait! Til Ya Drawers Turn Black?  Whose Writing This?…….Oh I Am!  Nevermind!

Let Me Continue……..

Their Whole Linebacker Core Looks Like Somebody Went Deep Into The Bowels Of Graterford Prison & Said Hey!  “Yall Dudes Over There On The Weight Bench Lifting 800 Pds. I Got A Paid Job For Y’all Beating People Up!

Philadelphia Congratulations!  Win Or Lose Yall Got Some Freakin Killers On That Sqaud!  These Are Definitely Not Your Fathers Eagles!

Expect Another Great Season!  And If & When Your Team Wins The Superbowl Again And Start Doing The “Keke” Dance To Meek Mills “Litty” & Your Father Screams Out  “Hey!  What The Hell Are They Doing”?

Then You Can Say …”Hey Dad! These Are Not Your Eagles” And When Your Father Says “Well Who Da Hell Are They Then” Thats When You Say….. “They Dem Boys”!!  Sorry Dallas!

P.S…..Im Not Really Sorry.

Abe Finklestein

Sports News & Humor