RONDA ROUSEY RETIRES! QUITS MMA TO DO ADULT FILMS!!

• AFTER SATURDAY NIGHTS AZZ WHOOPIN DELIVERED WITH SURGICAL PRECISION via HOLLY HOLM, Ronda Rousey has decided to call it quits and hang up her gloves and discover her most feminine precious side, in other words she’s going into the porn business folks, we didn’t see this coming no one did, just like she didn’t see that stiff jab coming that Holly holm delivered repeatedly over and over again! She talked to her manager after the fight and decided that if she’s gonna lay down in a prone position on pay per view than she might as well look sexy doing it.

When asked if this sudden change of occupations had anything to do with Saturday Nights fight where she got beat like a Christian at a Gay Pride Rally. Ronda responded ” yes! That azz whoopin made me wanna go back to being a girly girl again & now all i wanna do is talk on the phone, listen to Katy Perry, facebook & twitter allday, eat ice cream, get fat, cry about it, get skinny cry about it, pout, moan, b*tch, wine & plot everyday on how to make my boyfriends life a living hell just cause he wants a shot of the coo-coo”.

When asked what kind of Porn Videos she’d be making her response was this “well let’s put it this way…. I’ll definitely be taking shots to the face, but this time they wont be the kinda shots that knock you out.

Abe Finklesten
Sports Humour