LAMAR ODOM FLEES HOSPITAL WITH CHARLIE SHEEN! (DEFIES DOCTORS ORDERS, FAMILY IS IN PANIC!)

a LAMAR ODOM HAS ESCAPED FROM THE HOSPITAL! AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS! IS HE BACK ON A COKE BINGE AGAIN? Sources say it all started when he received an innocent but highly suspicious visit from Charlie Sheen who smelled like Matches & Vodka and was determined to see Lamar. The Doctors & The Kardashian Family + Kobe Bryant protested but Charlie reminded them that this is L.A and i have dirt on all of you, so they let him see Lamar.

But at some point during the visit They all got distracted, Khloe went to go get a Cheesesburger, Kim was in the bathroom asking the mirror who was the finest of them all, Kylie & Tyga were on Instagram plotting their next viscous sublimal diss to Blac Chyna & Kobe was busy playing NBA2K trying to take down his own high score. This is when Charlie & Lamar made their move to escape!

Sources say they pulled the classic 3 Stooges/Bugs Bunny routine where Charlie pretended to be a Doctor & he put Lamar on a gurney & proceeded to rush through the hospital halls screaming Surgery! surgery! Move! We gotta get this man to Surgery! And it worked, ( and why not? it always works in the cartoons) it got Charlie & Lamar all the way to the exit doors where they immediately hit a bee line to a mysterious awaiting van.

We were told that in the van waiting were Lindsay Lohan, El Debarge, Mccauley Culkin & Andy Dick. The mysterious van hastily sped away and no one has heard from Lamar since, Lamar if you’re out there please your Family is in Panic and they are worried for your health! So please, to all you readers, below is a picture of the mystery van, if you see this mystery van please call your Local Authorities immediately!

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour