JERRY JONES & CRIS CRISTIE: WE! DEFLATED THOSE BALLS!

 ( Unassociated Press ) OH MY GOODNESS! QUE UP THE VILLIAN MUSIC! THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED The Controversy is over!  ( it was over anyway we’re just milkin it for its last few seconds of life) Yes Cris Cristie & Jerry Jones are the one’s that did it and we here at Abefinklestein just wanna be the first to say….OOOOGH! I’m tellin! Y’all know that wasn’t right. That’s right we’re gonna break The Almighty No Snitch Code! ( You know the one the rappers use that says you can’t talk about somebody else doin illegal things but you can only talk about yourself doing illegal things which makes no sense because your now snitching on yourself thus breaking your own rule… Yea that code ) And we’re going straight to the Comissioner because this is ( in the words of every stoner suburban white kid that ever lived ) not coooool dude! Our sources say that Jerry Jones tried to deflate the balls to keep the pigskin for his next facelift! aaaaaand  ( when you’re tellin on somebody its necessary as well as mandatory to put that long aaaand in it ) that Cris Cristie (The White Fat Albert) was trying to … Um um…….see how those footballs tasted with Hellman’s mayonnaise on them cause let’s face it everything tastes just a lil bit better with Hellmann’s.  We’re now going to end this article with a quote from Marshawn Lynch (……………………)

 

Abefinklestein

sports humour