HOWIE ROSEMAN: I TOLD CHIP KELLY THAT COLLEGE BULLSH** WOULDN’T WORK IN THE NFL! HE AINT LISTEN!

HOWIE ROSEMAN HAS FINALLY HAD ENOUGH! THE FORMER PHILA. EAGLES G.M and Director of Player Personnel is Sick & Tired of being Politically Correct and wants The NFL and all of The Pro Football World to know that he was robbed! Everyone who follows Football knows that Chip Kelly took Howie Roseman’s job of GM away from him and the following results were a disaster!

The Desean Jackson move, The Lesean Mccoy move, The Jeremy Maclin move, (well maybe not the Jeremy Maclin move) The Evan Mathis debacle. All four players let go with little to nothing in return, just a bunch of talk about a system you have to fit into. And now with The Eagles record being 4-5 its clearly obvious to anyone with a heartbeat that ” THE SYSTEM AINT WORKIN MR. CHIP!”

And now at this time Howie Roseman is finally speaking out about his predecessor Chip Kelly, and it ain’t nice! Actually it is nice because Roseman has to be Politically Correct and cater to The NFL’s standard of conduct rules regarding The Media and Comments. But here’s the deal everybody, Phila is a hardcore working class town and they don’t talk Politically Correct, so for you the reader we will translate all the nice talk and political correctness of Howie Roseman and break it down for you just what he really wants to say. Philly Style! ( with just a touch of Jersey in it ) here it is folks! Abe Finklestein translates Howie Roseman!

” Im tired of this little Militant Midget! He’s completely screwed up the team! I told him that College Wildcat crap wouldn’t fly in the big leagues but noooooo! He wanted to do it his way and now he’s gotten rid of all the good talented players that were exciting and made a difference, and he got nothing in return for them, nothing! You know how much money i could’ve got in return for those players he let go? I swear to G** if i ever see his Flinstones Barney Rubble lookin azz out here on these streets I’m a smack him in his fat stupid jiggly puff cheeks!”

“That 2nd & goal pass play against Miami, Honestly it made me throw up in my mouth just a lil bit!” “Sam Bradford is such a bad QB that if he threw a rock at The Grand Canyon he would miss” “The Offensive line looks like its been hit by ISIS and is useless and ineffective like Dollar Store Soap!” “Chip you only took my job to feed your ego and now because of that the good fans of Philly have to suffer through another could’ve would’ve should’ve season”

So there it is folks, thats what Howie Roseman really wants to say and only Our Website could bring you that unique perspective. Even though it’s our job to be funny, sometimes we have the ability to hit The Nail right on The Head. Sometimes…….. But don’t get used to it.

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour