ELI MANNING SIGNS MILLION DOLLAR ENDORSEMENT DEAL WITH KOTEX TAMPONS!

ELI MANNING AND THE MAKERS OF KOTEX TAMPONS HAVE COME TO TERMS ON WHAT IS BEING REFERRED To as The Biggest Tampon Deal in The History of Tampon Deals! Yes Eli Manning will be The New Spokesperson for Kotex. And Eli couldn’t be happier! When asked about the matter his response was ” hey i decided to cash in on all those stupid & non logical jokes about me being a women just because its so easy to take my name and put she in front of it & besides there all true”

When asked if this will effect his Upcoming Monday Night Football Performance against Division Rival Phila Eagles, Eli responded ” to tell the truth i been wearing Tampons for years in Football Games cause they give me that extra protection that The Offensive Line just cant give me & plus i just like to be fresh down there”

This Deal makes Eli The Highest paid Tampon Spokesperson in The Entire Tampon Industry! This shatters The Previous Deal held by Former Tampon Spokesperson Vivian Vagalina.

The Details of The Contract call for monthly payments that will be referred to as ” The Period” or ” That Time of The Month” we did the first part of this interview with Eli 2 weeks ago and Eli’s mood was Great! But after trying to contact Eli again around “That Time Of The Month” or “The Period” we found that Eli’s mood had changed and he was now A Total B*tch!

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour