EIGHT YEAR OLD GIRL SELLS OUTS! TRADES AWAY HER SOUVENIR FOOTBALL FOR AN XBOX & A BARBIE DOLL!

ISABELLA BOTTOMLEY, THE CUTE LITTLE GIRL WHO IS A CAROLINA PANTHERS FAN & RECIPIENT OF THE FOOTBALL THAT WAS used to score the first touchdown in the Carolina vs Seahawks Playoffs game, is back in the news again! But not for being the ridiculously cute little girl who danced with glee as running back Panthers Running back Jonathan Stewart graced her with “that famous first td producing football”.

No this time she’s making the news for being a complete sellout! You see reports are starting to surface that she has indeed traded away her prized-souvenir 1st td in a major playoff game producing football for an Xbox and a Barbie Doll. When asked why, Isabella replied:

” Everybody thinks I’m so happy about a stinkin stupid football! For Gods sake I’m a lil girl! I didn’t even wanna be at the game, i only went cause my Parents made me! I’m only 8 years old, i had no choice. The only reason i was dancing around all super crazy like that is because i had to take a Pee Pee!

My Parents are notoriously cheap and the only reason we went to that game is because my Father’s job gave him free tix”. I wanted an Xbox & a Barbie Doll but my Father with his cheap azz, tried to give me his Old Nintendo 8 bit & a Beat up Cabbage Patch Doll. Btw i traded those too!

As soon as i got the football i realized this was the biggest moment in my life! Yes this was my payday! I knew i could take it to the Black Guy who lives down the street thats always cutting his cigars open, taking the tobacco out & putting in green tobacco, yes i knew he would buy the football”.

I recently contacted that black guy, not for a comment about the football he traded the lil girl for, but because i wanted to try one of those cigars with the green tobacco. Btw the football is now selling on Ebay for 1,200$$. Cigar not included.

 

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour