DEEP SLASHES! CHIP KELLY MAKES MORE CUTS TO PHILA EAGLES ROSTER!

RELAX! THESE ARE THE MANDATORY & NECESSARY CUTS THAT PRETTY MUCH All teams are making right about now, as to shave their roster down to The League Mandated 75 Players by Tuesday. However we decided to do a full length super detailed explanation of why each player got kicked to the curb!

It took us a long time to write this post and a lot of painstaking detail, so we hope you enjoy this post, it’s called “DEEP SLASHES!! CHIP KELLY MAKES MORE CUTS TO PHILA EAGLES ROSTER!”

You probably knew that already but to effectively keyword, We have to somehow creatively slip our headline into the post, so the Google search Engine Spider can find and rank us more easily or some techno crap like that, who cares and personally were starting to get sick of Google and their Hitler like Totalitarian ways!

How you gonna tell somebody how to write their post and where to put a headline! Fallback Google cause we bout two seconds from switching to “Bing”on y’all azz! (please excuse the personal rant, it’s a Philly Thang!)

ORIGINAL1 HANDCRAFTED SPORTS GEAR!

But Anyway, The Following is an extremely descriptive breakdown of why Chip The Slasher Kelly Cut these 12 unfortunate players

CB Marc Anthony- Not Good Enough!
S Brandan Bishop- Not Good Enough!
OL Mike Coccia- Not Good Enough!
OL Kevin Graf- Not Good Enough!
DE Alfy Hill- Not Good Enough! And no man should be named Alfy
WR Mike Johnson- Not Good Enough!
WR GJ Kinne- Not Good Enough!
LB Dasman McCullum- Not Good Enough!
WR Josh Reese- Not Good Enough!
DE Jeremy Towns- Not Good Enough!
TE Justin Tukes- Not Good Enough!
OL Jared Wheeler- Not Good Enough!

Now The Roster is now down to 78 players.

But Chip The Slasher Kelly is still not through, as The Eagles still have to cut 3 more players by Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. to reach The league-mandated 75-man roster limit.

We Sincerely Thank you for reading this long detailed description and remember our job is to make you laugh and keep you informed. Y’all come back now!

Abefinklestein
Sports Humour