CAITLYN JENNER COMES FORTH AS BILL COSBY’S 35th ACCUSER.

(UNASSOCIATED PRESS) THERE’S AN OLD SAYING “WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS” AND IN THE CASE OF BILL COSBY, NOT ONLY IS IT RAINING, “IT’S RAINING MEN!” Or should we say Man, and that Man’s name is Caitlyn Bruce Jenner, whose now claiming that back in the day Bill also Drugged him against his will. When asked about the fact that Bill Cosby is clearly a heterosexual male whose name has never been involved with any gay or transgendered rumors the response given was ” He knew that one day i would become a Women.”

Caitlyn says the whole thing took place in Phila. at The Penn Relays back in the late 70’s. Bill Cosby has always been involved in Track & Field Events & he invited me there to be a Special Guest, but he obviously had other things in mind and pretty soon i would go on to find out just how Special of a Guest i was as he invited me to his Old North Philly Neighborhood to Chill at his House.

Once we were in the house, the first thing that i noticed was a Big Fat Black Man wearing a Red Sweatshirt who kept Screaming “Hey Hey Hey!” Repeatedly! I was uncomfortable, Bill poured me a Coca Cola but before i could drink it, Suddenly the Big Fat guy in the Red Sweatshirt started singing these words ” Na Na Na Gonna Have a Good Time!” “Hey Hey Hey!”

This caused me to turn away from Bill and when i turned back for some reason my Coca Cola was fizzing extra hard & Bill was smiling extra hard, but i thought nothing of it because Coca Cola always fizzes & bubbles & Bill Cosby is always smiling.

I took a long swig and the next thing i remember was more Black guys entering the room, one had on a Big apple Hat & a Sweater Vest & he carried a guitar, the other one was short & angry with a Full Blown Winter Coat & an Aviator Cap on in The Summertime, one had extremely Bucked Teeth & a bad haircut, but the one that completely freaked me out, was the one who wore a Pink Winter Scully Cap completely covering his face but he had cut eyeholes in it so he could see, his words were slurred and he mumbled a lot. As a matter of fact he sounded like he had a mouth full of Mush.

Then for no reason at all they all broke out into a song and the Big Fat guy in the Red Sweatshirt grabbed The Solid Steel Radiator and ripped it out the corner wall, picked it up and began to squeeze it and play it like an Accordion, and thats when i passed out, when i came to the gang of guys were gone and only Bill Cosby stood there grinning while wiping himself down with a towel. I knew something was wrong but i decided to just move on with my life.

When asked why now? 30 yrs. later you come forward with these allegations, Caitlyn’s response was “after winning The Arthur Ashe Courage Award i suddenly gained the Courage to come forward & face my fears & also when you think about I’ve done just about everything else to completely sellout for the price of fame so why not this?” And to that we say wow! Caitlyn you just shocked da world with this startling new revelation! We wish you the best in your quest to prove it cause quite honestly it sounds like something you would read on a Comedy Website. Thanx for reading & BTW, the black guys mentioned in this story bear no resemblance at all to Fat Albert & The Gang.

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour