BREAKING NEWS! THE PHILA SIXERS ANNOUNCE STEVIE WONDER AS NEW HEAD COACH!

( Unassociated Press ) THIS JUST IN! In what appears to be an unforeseen move by The Phila.  Sixers that absolutely no one saw coming   ( pun intended ) The struggling  Franchise went out and signed on Legendary R & B singer Stevie Wonder as Their New Head Coach and changed their Team Slogan to “The  Sixers you can’t see us and we can’t see you not seeing us”!

 We’ve been told that the logic behind this move is  that they’re so bad they might as well embrace the badness and what better way to do that then by bringing in a coach who can’t see it. The Team announced it would also be handing out blindfolds to the fans so they too can’t see the debacle known as The  2015 Sixers.

When announced as The New Coach Stevie Wonder in typical Stevie Wonder fashion gave a long drawn out speech thanking everyone from God to the all the children in Africa who can’t eat but are fortunate enough to not have to watch a Sixers game.

When asked about the Team’s losing ways Stevie’s immediate response was ” I don’t see a problem” and when asked about their new head coach the team replied ” actually we can’t see him because the lights glare off of his huge forehead and when we look at the sideline all we see is a glare of light”.

In all honesty Stevie Wonders forehead is so big you can show a movie on it!  We wish The Sixers success with their new Head Coach we see them doing well (no we don’t) and making the playoffs. (no they won’t) In other news Former Sixers Head Coach Brett Brown signed on with Motown Records as an R&B singer that will probably disappear into obscurity the same way he did when he coached The Sixers.

abefinklestein

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