BREAKING NEWS JEFFREY LURIE FIRES CHIP KELLY!

(Unassociated Press) This just in Jeffrey lurie fires Eagles head coach Chip Kelly! As in fired his ass up in a impromptu bussing match. Word is the two got into an argument that quickly escalated to a game of the dirty dozens that started when Chip told Jeffrey that “his forehead was big enough to show movies on” to which Jeffrey replied “oh yea that’s why your so short midgets that look up to you” Chip got viscious and told Jeffrey that his wife looked like Rod Stewart in the face and thats when all the players standin around said oooooogh! d*mn you gonna let em get away wit that?! Thats when Jeffrey pulled out the big guns and totally fired Chip Kelly’s little  ass up! This story was told to me by somebody that lives around the corner from somebody’s cousin and them that was near the facility when the bussing match went down.

Abefinklestein1

satire/entertainment