ABE FINKLESTEIN’S FANTASY SPORTS FIGHTS: BATTLE NO. 4 BRUCE JENNER vs RICHARD SIMMONS

OK HERE WE GO AGAIN FOLKS ITS FIGHT TIME AND WERE PROUD Of this one! Let’s get straight down to it the fight would take place at a Bel Air California Gold’s Gym and both guys would show up in those lil 1980’s gym shorts that make grown men look disgusting and promotes your nutcracker to the whole world, anyway Bruce shows up with The Kardashian Klan and Richard shows up with a pet monkey and several wheelchair bound disabled children who for some reason refer to Richard as Rickatee! They square off and The Kardashian’s shout “get em Bruce” and the disabled children shout Rickatee! They begin to slap each other, then the hair grabbing and things look pretty even til Bruce unleashes a weak effeminate but effective karate chop to Richard who starts to wobble and get dizzy he’s about to pass out but the disable children scream out–Rickatee!  Oh another Sissafied ( no such word exists ) karate chop from Bruce and Richard hits the ground, this thing is over as Richard is groveling in pain but wait! The disabled kids scream at the top of their disabled lungs Rickatee! Rickatee!

And they play the theme music from Rocky on their cellphones and Bamm just like that Richard Simmons gets the strength to get up! And get up he does and goes into a wicked Azz olskool lil girl on the playground windmill and starts to whip Bruce’s Azz! TMZ shows up records the whole thing and are ready to go with the headline” Richard Simmons whoops Bruce Jenner’s Azz but hold up wait a minute! wait a minute! The Kardashian Klan is not havin it  and they step up and whoop Richard Simmons azz they start swinging Ray Rice Elevator punches and Rhonda Roussey Roundhouses, the disabled children no longer are screaming Rickatee they are now taking their cellphones and recording and uploading the azz whoopin to FaceBook and can you blame em I mean wouldn’t you too.

 

The Kardashian’s prevail pay the disabled kids off and grab Bruce, TMZ puts a camera in their face and they begin to give their winning acceptance speech but wait! Kanye west shows up at the last second , grabs the mic and says ” no disrespect to The Kardashian’s but Diddy’s azz Whoopin to Drake was way better! And the winner is……..Bruce Jenner