ARIZONA BOXING COMMISSION TO ROY JONES: NO YOUR DUMB AZZ CAN’T FIGHT A FAN!

KILL THAT NOISE! ROY JONES’S FANTASY OF FIGHTING A FAN HAS FINALLY  BEEN FENAGLED! Crushed, destroyed, eradicated– alright, ok you get it!  Heres The Official Statement—The Ring ‘s Norm Frauenheim reported that Roy Jones Jr cannot face an amateur or novice making his overall debut, but must face a boxer with a professional record.  The deadline for online submissions for fighting the boxing legend for 100,000$ ended February 24th. The event is scheduled for March 20th from the Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix, AZ.

Now here’s Our Statement ” Roy Jones Jr. Is A Complete F*%k-ing Idiot!  Who needs to just Stop! Please just stop! Your last fight against Enzo Ferrari – or– Enzo Maccarrinelli  or whatever his name is,  you got beat worse than a Runaway Slave in the Movie Django! C’mon Man Stop! It’s over! Let it go! The Trains not coming! The Car wont start! The Cake wont Bake! The Door wont Close! The Toilet wont flush!  Fish won’t fry in the kitchen,  A Beans don’t burn on the Grill!

Ok that last line  was from The Jeffersons Theme Song but you all get da point! Everybody gets the point except for Roy Jones. But he will undoubtedly get a Few more Fades, and we will all get the chance to see them on  Pay Per View, like this one coming up March 20th where Roy has to fight a Real Boxer! Btw ya boy Abe Finklestein was gonna take that money if the commission hadn’t stepped in.

Don’t laugh! Y’all would’ve watched, y’all watched dat suck azz Kimbo Slice vs  Dada 5000 debacle, so dont front on me!  Y’all would’ve watched Roy check my chin like a TSA Agent Fresh off of Vacation!

Other bouts on the March 20th  card include Michael Bisping vs Chael Sonnen in a grappling-only match, as well as Ken Shamrock vs Dan Severn in an MMA bout.  Former Olympian,WWE & TNA Star Kurt Angle will take on  Rey Mysterio, Jr, and Arizona native Shannon Ritch will also be on the card.. No word yet on if The Jeffersons will be there.

Abe Finklestein

Sports Humour