HOW TO BE THE COOLEST OLHEAD AT YOUR SON’S NEXT BASKETBALL GAME.

I REALIZE THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF ATTRACTIVE 35-40 year old Basketball Mom’s out there and Some Pops too. But I’m not into calling Men attractive so let’s just keep it moving. But here’s the deal, going to your Sons or Daughters Basketball Games are a right of passage for all Parents but they also can be a reminder for those over 35 that you’re not getting any younger, as these games are filled with teenagers!

Yes teenagers! Smiling, giddy, stupid, sarcastic, attitude having, constantly ahead of the curve with new lingo, phrases & slang words that will have you looking lost feeling old and out of time like Patti Labelle at an ASAP ROCKY Show.

So in order to keep up with the teenage madness that prevails heavily at all of your sons or daughters basketball games or any athletic event, here are some tips for you that will undoubtedly without a doubt! Having you looking and feeling like “The Coolest Olhead at your Sons Next Basketball Game”!

First: Always smile, especially the ladies even if you know your man or husband is being corny & flirtsy with the teenage girls there and a bit too friendly with the other Younger Basketball Moms ( note: for some reason there always gonna be younger than you) Just Smile!

Second: Always show love to the youth by bonding and creating a lot of moments where you dap them for practically anything that they think is cool. ( be prepared for a lot of unnecessary dapping as teenagers practically think every thing is cool )

Third: Always be ready to admit your mistakes to the youth (like these socks Rapper T.I are wearing) when you say something that’s uncool by saying this phrase ” My Bad” “My Bad”! Then give them a reverse dat (be prepared to say my bad a lot as well as do a lot of reverse dapping, as teenagers practically think everything is uncool) btw T.I Charlie Brown wants his socks back!

Fourth: Don’t ever wear this!

Fifth: Don’t ever wear that!

Sixth: Make sure you take your teenage daughter to the game when she’s at that awkward stage where she hasn’t fully developed her young women look and she still kinda looks like a teenage boy. (much like Willow Smith does)

That way you’ll get all the attention seeing as though every time a teenage boy looks your way he’ ll be forced to concentrate on you instead of your teenage daughter! For all you Women This will be a tremendous boost to your Cougar like self esteem and also serve notice too all the other basket ball moms that you still can get the looks from the teenage boys!

Seventh: Make sure you have a good Lawyer! Cause after you follow point no. 6 you’ll probably need one!

Eight: If you can’t keep up with all the fashions and trends simply wear black! Yes black, you can’t lose with black! Especially if you’re a little plump cause it will make you appear to be slimmer than you actually are. Notice how big Vin Diesel’s head is but the black makes it all work. Even if you’re short the black will make you look like you’re short but tough ( something vin diesel has made a whole career off of) And when you’re short & tough nobody has the guts to tell you that your child looks stupid wearing that kangol hat!

Ninth: Dont do this! Ll Cool J & his Wife pictured here are doing the most embarrassing thing a parent can do to a child! Public displays of affection are the quickest way to make your child look uncool & more importantly make yourself The “Olhead” look uncool. And it’s not cool to look uncool.

Tenth: Look interested, thoughtful and actually show support! Be there for your kids just like Snoop Dogg & his Mother or is that his wife? Hmm whoever it might be they look like they would benefit greatly from Tip no. 6.

So there you have it folks, If you follow these tips you will surely be The Coolest Olhead at your Son or Daughters next Basketball Game. And oh yea one more thing!……. D*mn Snoop! What happened?

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour