CAITLYN JENNER TO POSE NUDE FOR S.I COVER! BARF BAGS SALES TRIPLE OVERNIGHT!

ATHLETES EVERYWHERE ARE BARFING! Or at least getting prepared to barf. ( if there is such a thing ) Yes! It’s happening! Or it’s about to happen, it’s been reported or speculated or leaked or hinted at that Caitlyn Jenner will be Posing Nude For The Cover of Sports Illustrated.

This is a Highly Privileged Position that most athletes wait their whole life for or dream of, but once again in the name of Political Correctness they get screwed! Caitlyn wins again despite the fact that Caitlyn is not even a Professionally Competing Athlete in any Sport! And don’t gimme that Golf Crap, nobody cares about that Sr Tour or whatever it is Caitlyn’s involved in. Once again Caitlyn Jenner pulls A Caitlyn Jenner!

Now in all Political Correctness and understanding of people’s rights and what not, let’s be fair. Despite all of Caitlyn’s Success & Recent Achievements ( not in sports ) There are far too many athletes out there who deserve this spot that have every right to be upset at the fact they were overlooked for someone who isn’t even a Professionally Competing Athlete. Fair?

Ok now lets get down to the barf bags, Ok, Nude Folks!….. Its a Nude Cover! Transgendered or not, what person wants to see a 64 yr old nude person on the Cover of a Magazine? Or at all? According to the report Caitlyn will be wearing A Flag and Olympic Gold Medals from the past when Caitlyn was Bruce.

Its being said that because of the Insane Amount of upset & rejected athletes and true diehard fans of S.I Covers being this disgusted, they are expected to barf so much that President Obama is all set to declare that day  A ” National Barf Emergency”!

Walmart has ordered a reported 17 million barf bags in counting! As a Matter of Fact ( even though i just said reported ) there expecting an all out Barfathon and are prepared to open a chain of Shootoff Stores called “BarfMart”!

Yes! “BarfMart” And now we can expect a whole Barf Industry to come out of this, complete with You-Tube & Vine Barf Videos! Kids in Da Hood will come out with a Barf Dance, then it will take a serious turn and all The Barfers will ask for equal rights, equal pay and demand Same Barf Marriages be Legalized!

It will happen! And every other TV Show will have a Barfer on it, There’ll be Barf Athletes and Barf Teachers and Barf Politicians and Eventually an Openly Barf President! Pretty Soon Barfing will be seen as so normal, that in The Near Future we can all pretty much expect to see some Famous Athlete Barfing on The Cover of Sports Illustrated.

And we all know who that Athlete is gonna be?……………..

Anybody, because you know what folks? Barfing is normal and deep down inside………

The Truth is……………

Were all just a little bit “Barfericated”

Yep! Totally made that word up!

Abe Finklestein
Sports Humour