5 HARD HITTING REASONS WHY GENO SMITH SHOULD JUST RETIRE & SELL CANDY!

GENO SMITH IS NOT A HOUSEHOLD NAME OR A SUPERSTAR OR A NFL FRANCHISE PLAYER, In fact The Only reason a lot of you have been hearing his name lately is be caused he got Punched in The Face, subsequently leading to him now having a Broken Jaw. What’s even worse is that The Guy who Punched him IK Enemkpali, has a name that sounds like:

A.- A Brand New Russian Machine Gun
B.- A Brand New Rapper From Compton
C.- A Serious, Serious West African Disease that you Die from only after having it for 15 minutes and all The Big Singers in The World make songs about it and every time you hear the name you cry & in the end you end up giving all you’re money to some slick azz people on a TV commercial,and all you end up with is A Lousy T- shirt! That says ” Stop IK Enemkpal”

So that’s why we now know GENO Smith and it doesn’t matter that he’s been in The NFL for a good minute now as a QB for The New York Jets, we now know him as The Dude who got Socked! Real Hard! How Hard? Harder than Christmas Fruitcake in March! GENO Smith has never been known as a leader in the Locker Room and now after getting his Chin Checked, were betting that’s an element that’s pretty much gonna stay the same because honestly whose gonna listen to Him now?

If you look at the picture above of IK Enemkpali you can clearly see that right then and there he was thinking about Punching someone in The Face! Just look at him!

Then you can see in this pix he was not only thinking about Punching someone but he also was writing it down! They say if you really wanna get something done, write it down!

And if you look at this pix you can clearly see that his body is right here with these two important looking white men, but his mind is on the other side of town, in a locker room punching Geno Smith in his Face!

IK Enemkpali you Punched The Wrong person. If your gonna Punch somebody at least make it somebody with a Strong Azz Jaw who can take it. You know like
JAY LENO

OR, HOW ABOUT THAT DUDE Who plays a Bad Guy in every movie with that Big Freakish Jaw? Yea that guy- or

DUDLEY DO RIGHT

Yes anyone of those Big Chinned Guys could’ve took that punch.

Ok we just had to get that out, any way here is the list.

1. As you can see from The Pix in The Headline, Geno would be the Perfect representative for JAWBREAKERS CANDY. What better person to represent a product called JAWBREAKERS then a person who just got his Jaw Broke? This is a no brainer.

2. Do a series of Low Budget Local Dental Office Commercials where he literally says ” hey I’m Geno Smith and I just got my jaw broke but the Dental Offices of Big Kenny and dem from up da Street” put it back together again, just like Humpty Dumpty.
( um… Not a candy but whose counting?) well, according to Bankruptcy Court, Certainly not 50 Cents anymore!

3. Remix EPMD’S 1988 Hit Record ” You gots to Chill” and in the video just stand there and say nothing! Trust me today’s rap audience will love it! I can just hear some dumb azz teenager somewhere saying ” yo! Geno Smith da man cause he ain’t gotta say nothin”! “He on Fleek!” Needless to say The Makers of Dentyne Ice will wanna holler at Geno ASAP!

4. Enter into and Definitely win The Worlds Stinkiest Breath Contest, cause you know when your Jaw is Wired shut your Breath be Stinkin! Like a Mofo Bro! We Talkin Deep Deep Funk too, you know the kind were your breath be coming through your mouth even though your mouth is closed and whatever room you go into you make da whole room smell like ” BooBoo”! But The People who make Big Red Gum Smell Opportunity, and quickly make Geno their
Spokesperson, or um…. Their MumblePerson.

5. Start The International Federation of Mumbling People and then join forces with 50 Cents and drop that Hot Single where nobody knows what The Hell both of y’all are talking about but they all agree that the sh** is hot, thereby starting a new Rap Trend of Mumbling. On a side note: Big Sean is Mad! But Yhe People who make Now & Later Candy are impressed and start a new Campaign where they totally jack The Old Skittles Slogan. “Now & Laters! Mmmmm! Taste The Mummmm-Bow”!

Ok so there it is folks, there’s our list and we hope you enjoyed it and Geno Smith if you’re reading this: go on ahead and Cut dat Check Homie cause ya boy Abe finklestein just saved your career! And oh yea one more thing Geno if your listening! Turn around IK’s behind you! Haaaaa! Got you! You Big Wuss!

Abefinklestein
Sports Humour